Hi! My name is Zero Suit Samus (or Samus for short), and I’m an energetic pit bull mix who needs some love. And I really mean it. I need a family that will hug me because your penalty for not hugging me is hearing the cry of my people. My foster dad says from my tears I must be from pterodactyls, but that’s silly because pterodactyls don’t even like peanut butter. And I love peanut butter. And sweets. And strawberries. And watermelon. And anything, really. Honestly kid, if you give me your salad, I’ll eat it. Don’t want your broccoli? I’ll take care of your problem. Do you see this toy? It’s in my stomach now. See that vomit? Well, you can get your toy back.

Like all superdogs, I have an origin story: I ran across the highway and caused a 4 car pile-up that I found myself under. It wasn’t my best choice, but it’s still a better love story than “Twilight”. I have to take medicine every day now, otherwise I have quite severe seizures. But I like to think of my epilepsy as my unbridled superpower that the world just isn’t ready for yet.

I’m originally from Tulsa, but I’m still not a fan of Bermuda grass around here – I have allergies in the summer so this is something you need to know. Despite this, I still love to run and roll around in the grass, and if you throw a ball at me I can jump and catch it in the air even when it’s 6ft tall. I am not exaggerating. (Pterodactyl dogs never exaggerate.) And would you mind spraying me with a hose every now and then? I love to play in water, especially when it comes out of a small pipe at a jet-like speed.

But if you have another dog in the house then forget about it because I am a lonely dog. Lone wolf. A rebel. I won’t share my toys, I won’t share my food, and I won’t share my family. I do very well with other dogs in general, but once you introduce toys or food I get very territorial. Can we agree that I will be your only one?

Besides, I love children. I don’t have these issues with other humans, so don’t worry about bringing me home with your young ones. I am faithful to the bone. Do not believe me ? Try to go for a jog with me. I’m going to follow your pace all the time, running just by your hip. Need me to lick the sweat off your face after a particularly hot run? Baby, that’s what I’m talking about. I am a good dog. My host family says it too. I’ll take care of you if you don’t mind. I am eager to learn, I do not catch coronavirus and I am sparing. I won’t poop in your Cheerios. Unless that’s one of your orders, but why would it be? Don’t want your Cheerios? Let me have them instead.

Samus is fully vaccinated, sterilized, microchipped, and is available for adoption through Compassionate Animal Rescue Efforts.

For more information, visit careescueok.org.

Courtesy / CARE

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